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Feeling Confident & Happy

I recently had an epiphany.

A dream that I had recently revealed some of my inner emotions. For a long time, I've felt scared and alone. In my dream, I was feeling confident. I was happy and completely comfortable with myself. I was ready to face the world with my head held high.

So, I'm still deciding what kind of career I want to pursue. I decided a long time ago that I want to significantly impact the world. If I were to be an athlete, then I would want to be another Michael Phelps. If I were to pursue music, then I would want to be another John Lennon. I think that if I pursue crime and law that I could really make a difference in the world. I would still like to pursue opportunities in law enforcement, but I think that I'll go to law school. I'm leaning more towards that right now.

Abigail and I also recently celebrated my birthday. She had a birthday dinner for me at her house followed by cake and she and her family sang happy birthday to me.

So, she originally had three candles, but she could only find two (and a button from work). She said that the three candles were supposed to represent the past, present, and future. Since we could only find two, we determined that the past has passed. We celebrated the present and future.

When they were singing to me, I felt so happy. It meant so much that I had someone that wanted to celebrate my birthday for me. I usually only celebrate with my mom and James, but the fact that my birthday means something to someone else besides the two of them warms my heart. I made my wish and blew out my candles to the present and the future.

So, I now have confidence in myself and I also have a family beside my mom and older brother. My dad doesn't really have relationships with his family members (not that he and I talk to each other anyway) and my mom's family never comes to see us or interact with us, although we do somewhat keep in touch. It means so much that I have a family to whom I mean so much. Abigail said that she knew that her dinner and cake weren't a lot, but they were more than I could've ever asked. It's the little things in life that take up the most room in one's heart. And, even though I haven't had very many, this certainly takes the cake for birthday celebrations (pun not intended).

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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.