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I just need someone to listen.

This week has just sucked.

I feel like I've had a mountain of things to do as far as homework and housework.  I feel like no one's noticed how much I've struggled.  I'm so behind on everything in my life.

I feel like all my mom does is insult me and criticize me about everything that I do and don't do.  Yesterday, she said something that hurt my feelings and her solution is that I need more medicine because I'm too sensitive.  She says that I don't tell my doctor the whole story (although she doesn't come with me, so she doesn't know what I tell him).  Why can't she understand how sensitive I am?  She wants me to take more medicine just so that she doesn't insult me?  I feel like all my mom does is complain.  I feel like she's so selfish.  I feel like she never listens to my feelings or opinions.  I feel like she just doesn't care.  I don't have a lot of contact with my family besides my mom and my older brother and I don't feel like either one of them understand or care.  I feel like they are so wrapped up in themselves.

I was hired for a new job with a project involved in a of a non-profit organization, only for the project to be called off.  It was so disappointing...

I feel like no one cares...I need a cry...just a good long cry.

Comments

my friends mom is the same way.... she just sits there and b1tches about everything instead of getting up off her ass and DOING something to fix it herself. it's FAR easier to sit and complain about it until someone ELSE does it - and then complain more until it's done HER way :(

no, i don't think you need more medicine - i think you're right and she needs to stop being such a callous cow. the solution to her attitude is NOT to fix YOU, but to fix HER - but of course, that'd take real WORK and she won't do that !!

it sucks not having any family support structure to fall back on, friend Art - most of my "sister" friends are in the same boat, coming from dysfunctional families. i try to help out where i can, and teach them where ties of blood fail, ties of friendship just take on that much more importance. just because you're not related doesn't mean you can't lean on real friends like you would a parent or sibling - and sometimes you'll find and develop a TRUE friendship that'll last decades... just like family is SUPPOSED to work :)

so, if its not too painful - tell us about the non-profit project you almost got to work for ! they tend to be interesting ideas...
and if it helps, go ahead and have a cry - they seem to help females regain their equilibrium somewhat, like a pressure-release valve for emotions. being a typical, emotionally-stunted male, i don't claim to understand the necessity of a good cry - but i'm wise enough to know they seem to help when nothing else does...

have a good weekend, kiddo ! hope you feel better next week :)

-M

I do feel a lot better. I just feel like my mom expects too much out of me. She's told me that if I don't like the way she deals with her own issues, then I should leave. I don't feel like I should go through the stress of that for someone who is selfish and insensitive.

I contacted the Nicole Brown Foundation a few weeks ago to see about opportunities to help. Denise wrote me back and said that the non-profit sector was closed, but that they were continuing their work elsewhere, but the work had to be called off after I was hired.

I had some crying and it did help. For me, I usually cry when I'm frustrated and it releases a lot of emotions and stress.

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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.