Have you heard about debarking dogs? It is a surgery that cuts the dog's vocal cords so they cannot bark. I am in shock that people will actually do this to their dogs. I am an animal lover and cannot imagine having a dog that cannot bark due to my actions.

I read a post on this at this site: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35219154/ns/health-the_new_york_times/?GT1=4...

I realize that barking can at times be bothersome, but really everything in life can be bothersome. If a dog barks it is because it is feeling something. There are some dogs that bark incessantly, but that is part of who they are. To silence them is just unnecessary. I think it is laziness on the owner's part.

Today I took my three year old niece to the St. Louis Science Center to see the Dinosaurs Unearthed Exhibit. We walked through hallways lined with realistic looking dinosaurs that roared at us.

It was quite amazing. I do not know who was more awed, Ali or I. She was not scared of the fantastic creatures, which suprised me a bit. Imagine being 3 years old and walking past monsters. I wondered why she wasn't scared. Was it because I was there holding her hand or is she just fearless? I hope it is a combination of both. I hope my presence gives her confidence to face scary things knowing I will be there to help her, but I also hope she has enough self-confidence to meet challenges head on.

With the New Year comes snow, in Missouri at least. I thought I was ready for anything now that I am free, but I severly underestimated the power of snow.

Not only do I feel like I am five years old and want to fling myself into it everyitme I walk outside, but I am terrified to drive in it. I hate the feeling of not being in control, especially behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. I have not driven in the snow in 19 years. Yes, 19 years.

As most of you know, this was the first Christmas I spent free in a very long time. I got caught up in the hustle and bustle, the gifts, the music. You name it and I was caught up in it and it was WONDERFUL!

I had such a wonderful time. I missed everything while I was incarcerated but one of the main things I missed was just the spirit of the season. In prison, we try to forget that it is Christmas, but not out here. Here it is done with style. It started the day after Thanksgiving and will be ending shortly. I will be sad to see it go.

I just watched the last hour of the movie Hound Dog with Dakota Fanning. I missed the first part of it, and I would have liked to have seen it.

This movie was very compelling and I was immobilized in front of the screen. After the girl was raped and started to shut down, I saw so much of myself in her that I could not turn off the tv if I wanted to.

My boyfriend asked me why I was so mesmerized by a story so tragic. The answer was I wanted to see if she could pull her spirit out of it. I got my answer.

If you have not seen this movie, think about seeing it if you are strong enough and if you think it will not cause flashbacks for you.

Last night I heard the saying, "Get the I out of the way" and it really struck me how true that is. We get so caught up in I, "I feel like this, I want this, I, I, I, I."

It is so hard not to focus on one's self, it is basic humanity. As abuse victims we have learned if we don't take care of ourselves no one else will. So, how do we get the I out of the way? Impossible? No, but it takes practice, lots and lots of practice.

I had a wonderful Thansgiving. I invited 8 other people over for dinner, so I cooked for about 10. That was quite interesting since I really don't know how to cook. I downloaded a ton of recipes from the internet and sent out a shout of help on Facebook. Lots of great advice.

I tried to cook the yams the evening before and I really messed them up. Yes, I messed up yams, let me tell you how I did it. I doubled the recipe and doubled the sugar and all that went in, it was way too sugary, way too sweet, way too gross.

I am so excited about my first Thanksgiving home. I cannot wait for Thursday. I plan on making a turkey and all of the trimmings. I need help, so if anyone has any great recipies or ideas, please log onto the forum section and add your comment.

I think I might actually bake a couple of pies too. I have no idea how that will work out, we'll just have to wait and see.

I hope Thanksgiving is truly wonderful for each and every one of you. This is a wonderful time of year for us to remember the things we have (or have had in our lives) to be truly grateful for.

My mother comes from a family of five brothers and sisters, she is the oldest. I am the eldest cousin on the maternal side of the family (my father did not have any surviving brothers or sisters, so it is just Christy & I on the paternal side). I have quite a few cousins that I have not seen or heard from since the begining of my incarceration.

I have kept in touch with one wonderful cousin, Nicolette. She came to see me while I was in prison, wrote to me, and was present the day I was released. Today she had a baby shower and I was invited.

This is my first Halloween home in over 18 years, and I am enjoying it to the hilt!

I picked out my first pumpkin, bought a carving kit, carved it, and roasted the seeds. It was great!!! The pumpkin is rotted now, so I bought another one.

I am going to dress up in a poodle skirt and dance at a friend's house. I don't know how to dance, but I suppose that is part of the fun. I do know how to do the twist and the swim, so I guess the poodle skirt is appropriate.

On a serious note, Halloween night is a time for fake monsters and horrors, but we have seen plenty of real ones. We each have monsters, demons, and horrors in our past that we confront every day.