Reuniting With Family
My mother comes from a family of five brothers and sisters, she is the oldest. I am the eldest cousin on the maternal side of the family (my father did not have any surviving brothers or sisters, so it is just Christy & I on the paternal side). I have quite a few cousins that I have not seen or heard from since the begining of my incarceration.
I have kept in touch with one wonderful cousin, Nicolette. She came to see me while I was in prison, wrote to me, and was present the day I was released. Today she had a baby shower and I was invited.
Her shower was the very first baby shower I attended as an adult. We played games, oohed and aawed over presents, and celebrated the upcoming arrival of her new baby. In addition, I was able to reunite with cousins I have not seen in 18 years.
I first saw a cousin I had not seen since she was 4. The young child I knew grew into a stunning adult and I was left breathless.
The second cousin was close to me at one time. He and I are the closest in age and I must admit I was the proverbial bad influence in his life. My breath once again caught as I went to approach the young man who had become a stranger, questions ran through my mind, "Would he want to see me? How would he react?"
As I looked into my cousin's almond colored eyes tears formed in my own. Standing before me was a man, he was but a mere boy the last time we were together. He smiled and said, "Hi cousin."
It took every ounce of strength I had not to break down and bawl like a baby at his feet. Two words touched my heart so deeply and profoundly that I have trouble expressing the words to match my feelings.
There were so many things I wanted to say to him, to tell him, but I couldn't. I wanted to ask him about the last 18 years of his life, find out what kind of man he has become, but I didn't. I hope someday I will be able to.
Family is not always perfect, but we are what we have. My cousins showed me acceptance and forgiveness today and for that I am grateful, extremely grateful.
- Stacey Lannert's blog
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Comments
Family For It? Or Agin It?
Dear Stacey:
I've always been the bad seed, the black sheep, the renegade, the rebel....blah, blah, blah.
One of my best friends in my entire family died last month. My Grandpa Tom was driving 3 weeks before he died. He was 93. But he was my champion. He understood me. I do miss him.
But the point I wanted to make is, I was the only one of my siblings to attend his funeral, which was in San Angelo, Texas. My 2 older siblings live in Oklahoma City, my younger brother lives in San Antonio. I live in Florida. Guess who showed up?
I met cousins and second cousins and aunts and uncles and I actually handled it well. (Surprise, I'm a hermit)
It was the most loving, welcoming, warm experience I've ever had with "so-called" family.
I'm so glad you are facing the acceptance that you deserve. I was sure I was going to be shunned. Not so. The poem I read at the memorial was printed out and given to all the people there. My aunt Chris did this. She already had them printed when I arrived at my uncle's house. She was waiting for my permission to hand them out.
I just about fell over. I was so honored and humbled. I had mentioned my Aunt Chris's son, William. He was a dear soul, very close to me. He committed suicide in the mid-eighties. He left a letter for me on his desk. My aunt gave it to me and I still have it. I will send it to you.
Family can be such a double-edged sword, just like love. No pain, no gain, but boy does that suck.
Take care,
Susan
Reunion
I think it is wonderful that you are reconnecting with your extended family. Baby showers are always great fun.