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My Letter

I completely forgot to tell you about the letter that I received for my birthday.  It was from my dad.

So, I haven’t spoken to him since March of 2013.  I saw him in the spring of this year (at James’s graduation) and he said about three words to me.  I was anxious about seeing him again.  What would happen?  It turns out, I had nothing of which to be afraid.

Reach Out

The suicide of Robin Williams has had me do a lot of thinking. What if I had actually gone through with my thoughts of suicide in the past?

I've seen a lot on social media regarding people's confusion about his death. For one, I don't know that death is something we necessarily understand. People have a wide range of beliefs as far as what happens after a person dies because death is something with which we aren't necessarily familiar. The main point of confusion over Robin Williams's death, however, is the fact that he seemed so happy.

Feeling Confident & Happy

I recently had an epiphany.

A dream that I had recently revealed some of my inner emotions. For a long time, I've felt scared and alone. In my dream, I was feeling confident. I was happy and completely comfortable with myself. I was ready to face the world with my head held high.

Beyond the comfort zone

I have a magnet on my fridge that reads, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone". I bought it to remind myself to push through the moments when my brain says, "You can't do this!" Unfortunately, my brain screams those words at me more often than I would like to admit. If I listened to my brain, I would be shut off in my tiny cottage house with no friends and never go out.

It is difficult to step beyond the edge of comfort, to explore new worlds, new paths. And even though my brain screams at me to stop - my soul commands me to move forwards, to try and fly.

Feeling Grateful and Grief

I've been feeling blessed lately. I was able to see Abigail two weeks in a row, which is unusual because we live far apart and we both have busy lives. I most recently saw her this Wednesday. We spent the day together and had a really nice time.

On Wednesday night, I saw a post that Pope Francis made on Facebook. It's a photo that says, "I thank God for protecting me from what I thought I wanted and blessing me with what I didn't know I needed.".

Remembering Maya Angelou

When I was trying to find my voice, there were not a lot of other voices being raised to guide me. Then, I read a book by Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings". Her honesty and strength forced me to be the best me I could be.

Dr. Maya Angelou is my hero and role model. She is true inspiration. She is grace. She is beauty.

She will not be forgotten.

 

Today is the First Day....

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I heard that quote somewhere and it has stayed with me. I believe the quote is flawed, because no matter who you are or where you go the past will always be a part of you. However, if we meet our pasts with our heads up and shoulders squared then it cannot defeat us. Every step, every second, every person has helped shape us into who we are. It is up to us to choose what we keep and what we reject.

what should I make of this

So this is the conversation between me and my mother and I'm not sure what to make of it........I'm gonna switch subjects for a second because there has been something on my mind that I have been wanting to tell you and I don't want to keep it in and cause distance because I feel that it will......

I just need someone to listen.

This week has just sucked.

I feel like I've had a mountain of things to do as far as homework and housework.  I feel like no one's noticed how much I've struggled.  I'm so behind on everything in my life.

Building Change

I'm wondering how you feel about change because change scares me.

I attended the same school for eleven years (from prekindergarten through eighth grade) and I then attended a public high school in my hometown because the school to where my dad sent me only serves students through eighth grade. Some of my fondest memories are of that school. It wasn't until the night before school started in ninth grade that it really settled in: I was growing up.

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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.

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