Deen the Playwright

Last night, Deen the Paywright came to my university as part of our Authors on Campus series. When I got the e-mail from my professor (who happens to be his sister-in-law), I thought that it would be interesting, but later decided against it (I'm not really an English, theatre or drama person). The same professor I recently reached out to for the workbook. She kindly agreed and later on asked me if I was going to his presentation. She strongly encouraged me to go and shared with me before the presentation that Deen is also a survivor: I then made my decision.

The New Pope

Yesterday, I was thrilled to see white smoke. I never see people excited over smoke except when it's time for a new leader of the Roman Catholic Church.

As I thought about the new Pope, I've thought about my own life. I am transitioning into following a new leader of my religion and a new place in time. Yesterday, we saw the first South American Pope elected and we saw a difference in his welcome.

EMDR, nightmares & stress

so i just recently began EMDR. it has reduced nightmares, flashbacks & intrusive mem. ories. but it has NOT gotten rid of me having them. i also just recently testified against my attacker & won. atleast thats what people say 'won'. i feel like i didnt win anything but showing his low life pethetic self that im not backing down & im not letting him walk freely.

Sharing my thoughts and feelings

Hello all!

I have continued the workbook. I feel a lot better and a lot less overwhelmed than last week. It's been a few days since I reached out to someone and it was extremely difficult.

I have just completed the part of the workbook where I assess the damage and identify how the abuse has directly affected my life. In the workbook, it suggests that the reader completes the exercise with other survivors, or share my thoughts and feelings with someone once I'm through, so here it goes.

Major Milestone

Last night, I went out to dinner with some friends. I was planning on spending the afternoon studying, but I was thinking about the workbook and decided that my healing process was more important to me at the moment, so I went ahead and continued with it.

I did a freewrite on my progress thus far. Once I was finished, I left to meet my friends and decided that I'd bring the workbook with me. I was early, so I worked on it until I went inside.


I've been meaning to post this blog for days now! I have had some change in my life in the past week.

It started last Saturday night (16 February). I was as sick as a dog! I couldn't do anything for about three days because I was so dehydrated. It was horrible.


So to make a long story short, my ex boyfriend drugged and raped me last semester in my dorm room. This is not the first time I have been assaulted. I was raped from the time I was 9 until I turned 14, and then I was raped my freshman year in college, two summers ago and then last semester. I have a long history of abuse, but what I'm finding after my last assault is I'm having more trouble sleeping then usual.

Things have become too hard for me here,

I need to start by saying this site has become a very helpful place for me,and at times very supportive,but,i am now and have been in a very dark ugly place in my head and life. I try every single day to tell myself that i will be o.k. and i will make it,but every single day is such a difficult struggle for me. I have heard from many that i have SO much strength and I can do this and i will be o.k. I have yet to see or believe that. I try day in and day out to fight my " daddy monsters" that i have tryed to deal with for the last year.

Love and Communication

I hope that all of you had a wonderful Valentine's Day!

I wanted to make a blog about love and communication. We discussed love this week in a sociology course that I'm taking and I have thought about love and communication and their relationship to each other.

When I think of love, I always think of relationships. I think of the relationships that I have with my family, friends, abuser and, of course, all of you.

Dream Houses

I am living in my “dream house” and it has just been put up for sale.  It is my 7th dream house.  A client of mine asked me how I could be leaving my dream house.  I told her the truth; dream houses and dreams don’t always fit together.  My current home and location don’t fit my new dream; I have outgrown both.


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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.

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