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Last night I heard the saying, "Get the I out of the way" and it really struck me how true that is. We get so caught up in I, "I feel like this, I want this, I, I, I, I."

It is so hard not to focus on one's self, it is basic humanity. As abuse victims we have learned if we don't take care of ourselves no one else will. So, how do we get the I out of the way? Impossible? No, but it takes practice, lots and lots of practice.

I had a wonderful Thansgiving. I invited 8 other people over for dinner, so I cooked for about 10. That was quite interesting since I really don't know how to cook. I downloaded a ton of recipes from the internet and sent out a shout of help on Facebook. Lots of great advice.

I tried to cook the yams the evening before and I really messed them up. Yes, I messed up yams, let me tell you how I did it. I doubled the recipe and doubled the sugar and all that went in, it was way too sugary, way too sweet, way too gross.

Hi everyone..i am wishing you all a very peaceful happy Thanksgiving...i will spending it with family...i plan on eating myself into a coma lol...

on a heavier note..i hate the fact that Mackenzie Phillips family wants nothing to do with her on Turkey Day....this is part of the reason i only shared my experiences with my therapist and you guys...my journey is my own..i cant bear the thought of anyone looking at me differently for something that wasn't my fault....

i am very thankful for today..i am here..i am a survivor..i am hurting but healing ..

I cant wait for my sisters Sweet Potato Casserole!!!! 

I am so excited about my first Thanksgiving home. I cannot wait for Thursday. I plan on making a turkey and all of the trimmings. I need help, so if anyone has any great recipies or ideas, please log onto the forum section and add your comment.

I think I might actually bake a couple of pies too. I have no idea how that will work out, we'll just have to wait and see.

I hope Thanksgiving is truly wonderful for each and every one of you. This is a wonderful time of year for us to remember the things we have (or have had in our lives) to be truly grateful for.

I have shared my story about what has happened to me. To this day it still hurts me to know what was taken away from me mentally and physically. I know I will never heal from any of this but I am atleast going to try. These past couple of days I was on facbook and ran across this lady that looked so familiar to me. I added her as a friend and she sent me a message. She told me that she remembers me. I started to cry. When I was in the 4th grade(now a freshman in hs) she was somebody who worked in the after school program. after that year nobody has seen or heard from her. to find out when I was in the 6th grade that she got cancer. they only gave her 1 year to live. magically and thankfully she has lived longer. This woman has chaned my life around a lot.

My mother comes from a family of five brothers and sisters, she is the oldest. I am the eldest cousin on the maternal side of the family (my father did not have any surviving brothers or sisters, so it is just Christy & I on the paternal side). I have quite a few cousins that I have not seen or heard from since the begining of my incarceration.

I have kept in touch with one wonderful cousin, Nicolette. She came to see me while I was in prison, wrote to me, and was present the day I was released. Today she had a baby shower and I was invited.

41 yrs later....i am just now allowing my mind to "go there" in therapy......i hate my father... you ruined my life.. but....i love my father.. so i feel guilty..i feel gross..i feel damaged...i feel victimized...i feel emotionally stunted...arrested development......i hate you mom...you knew didn't you...but still..i love you mom....... will it always be this hard...when will i stop feeling like this was all my fault...i am trying so hard to love that little girl inside me. ....but sometimes i hate that little girl...that helpless innocent little girl...whose fate was altered....by the one man a daughter should never be hurt by....  no wonder i believe in reincarnation....i deserve a do-over......

About 3 years ago my mom had met my stepdad and they got pregnat. I was excited and all but then my mom and him decided to get married. From then on it all went downhill. One  morning I had left before school started and decided to walk to the park right down the street. It was still very early in the morning so I had a lot of time to waste. Thats when it all happened. I was sitting on a table with my back turned to a baseball field. It was still dark outside so i couldnt see much. Well next thing I know somebody came up behind me and decided to cover my mouth and take off my clothes. I was in such shock i didn't know what was happening until he took off my clothes. He started raping me. once he got what he wanted he left. Nobody was around so i coulnd yell.

I have learned by life's hard lessons. That keeping a secret about sexual abuse is wrong. It gives the power to the preditor to continue abusing others.

I was abused by my father as a toddler. His wife had a gut feeling that something was wrong. She confided in her own mother. She was told she was CRAZY.  Years later my father again abused me.

Wife #3 figured it out. She stopped the abuse and never spoke about it. After their divorce, I was sleeping one night. I woke to find my father standing at my bed side. The memory of the abuse come flooding back. He never abused me again.

This is my first Halloween home in over 18 years, and I am enjoying it to the hilt!

I picked out my first pumpkin, bought a carving kit, carved it, and roasted the seeds. It was great!!! The pumpkin is rotted now, so I bought another one.

I am going to dress up in a poodle skirt and dance at a friend's house. I don't know how to dance, but I suppose that is part of the fun. I do know how to do the twist and the swim, so I guess the poodle skirt is appropriate.

On a serious note, Halloween night is a time for fake monsters and horrors, but we have seen plenty of real ones. We each have monsters, demons, and horrors in our past that we confront every day.