Blogs

It has been 10 months since I have been home. At times it feels like 2 days and at others it feels as if I were forever free. It is taking me the longest time to establish patterns, friendships, and my identity in the world.

At times I feel like such an old soul, and like a newborn baby at others. I am such a walking contradiction it is almost funny.

The only thing I can say with any certainity is that I know I am blessed. I know I have been handed a second chance at life and I am going to take it.

I am going to fly, fly as free and as high as I can. I know that I will crash, I will fall, I will hurt, but I will fly free again.

UNDER HIS KNEE (Written by Susan J. Hunt  5-25-09)

1. It's nice having my friend Stacey back in my life after all these years. People should know she was always a blast to hang with growing up and she got me my first job. Washing dishes at an Indian joint with smelling food and a smelling boss. But we did have the pleasure of working for one of the sweetest women you'd ever met, Zora. Zora was old when we knew her so 20 years later she has likely past, but we will always remember her.

• I'll have lots to say going forward, I just drug my feet being active on the site. But regardless of that everyone should know what a joy Stacey is to have back in my life.... jw

I had a tire blow out the other day because I hit a curb. I love my little convertible, but it is low slung and I have a hard time seeing over the hood. I seem to hit curbs with the accuracy of a professional pitcher throwing a strile.

I side-swipped a curb and my tire blew out. I anxiously pulled over as soon as I was able to a local business. I walked in the fron door to ask for assistance and was suprised to discover where I was.

Reading about Mackenzie Phillips speaking out about her incestious relationship reminds me of the first time I spoke out publicy about my past.

I had so many fears, so many doubts, but I was literally in a place where I had to share my past so that other people could understand the tragic decisions I made. I needed support from others and the only way that would happen is if I exposed myself in a way I never had before.

Speaking out for the first time is one of the hardest things a person will ever do. I admire Mackenzie for having the courage to come forward.

After speaking out there is always backlash, people's opinions to deal with. Some will believe, some won't. Blogs will be written, people will take sides, etc. Other people's opinions are just that, opinions. We have no idea what really happend behind closed doors, only the two of them know and one is speaking out.

Mackenzie is to be admired for her courage. She has begun the journey of setting herself free from the past. By being open and honest we set ourselves free.

I admire her for her bravery.

I know that is has been awhile since I have posted a blog and I sincerely apologize. I started a college class and I must say the homework has been keeping me busy.

I enrolled in only one class because I wanted to see how I handled it. Would it be hard? Could I fit it in to my schedule? I had quite a few doubts, but I went forward and signed up.

I am taking an English Composition class. I have to write a lot! I have two essays per week and am just now starting to get the hang of it.

I want to thank all of you who have offered advise to me and others. This website has helped me so much by having someone else to give me their insight. I know I will handle my life as i see fit to. Laying it in the lords hands.Since being on here last i've had changes. My family had a big falling out and someone in my fam. told my mom things i wish i had the courage to tell her but i don't. So she called me and instead of admitting she knew what happened she only said "IF" he did those things to you I didn't know it. What a lie. My older sisters were 15 and 17 and they told her he did. She just didn't want to loose her easy way of life. But instead of standing up for myself I just said nothing and got off the phone. KNowing i may never get that chance again.

I went to San Francisco this weekend. I drove across the Golden Gate Bridge, hugged a giant redwood, sat on the beach, and ate an In-N-Out Burger. These are things I never thought I would get the opportunity to do, and sometimes I still can’t believe it.

We seem to take the little moments in life for granted. I don’t because for so long I did not have them. I remember watching television and seeing the Golden Gate Bridge and thinking, “I would love to go there someday. How beautiful.” I still cannot quite believe that day is here.

Stacey,

I watched your story that was on Oprah recently and I was so impressed by how courageous you are.  I'm sure it must be scary trying to start a new life, but it sure sounds like you deserve it!  I was sexually abused by a relative when I was a child and I think this is a great way to open up about our experiences.