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Making A Choice
I often wonder why some people are able to choose to move forward and others seem stuck in a place of victimization. It almost sounds cruel to simplify the healing process as "making a choice" yet that is exactly must occur in order to move forward. Telling yourself that you are worth more than what happened to you is difficult, believing it is even rougher. However, it is a mantra that must be repeated day after day and at time, minute after minute.
Moving forward is NEVER easy. Self-doubt, past harsh words, and horrible memories can create roadblocks on the journey of healing and wholeness. There will always be roadblocks, we will fall, we will hurt, we will feel as if we cannot go on, but we must. We are the only ones who can pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and walk boldly towards healing. We may limp, we may even have to crawl, but we must never stop trying, we must never stop choosing.
On a personal note, law school is HARD. I survived the first semester and somehow made the dean's list. I have days when I question why I am putting myself through this. the long hours of study, the lack of a social life, the self-doubt that I am good enough to accomplish this task all create roadblocks on my educational journey. However, realizing that I am the only one who will truly stand in my way pushes me forward. I read cases, even when I don't want to; I read supplements, even when I rather just play with my dogs; and I remember to take time out for my personal needs, even when I think I should be studying. I go to class and I keep pushing on, not just for me but for all of us, because if I can do this - if I can make it through the three years of law school - then I hope it will be an example that you can do anything if you just keep moving towards your goal.
You can do anything, because you are an amazing person, because you are more than what someone did to you, because you are more than the demons of your past, because you deserve to be happy and healed. May each one of you find peace on your journey.
About Stacey Lannert
Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.