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Only 4 weeks to go!!!
I have been absent from this site for about a year now. Those of you who remember me will know that after 35 years of living with the effects of the sexual abuse at the hands of my father,I finally found myself in the right headspace to go to the police. Well after 2 years of waiting for the legal wheels to turn in my favour I am finally going to court, in just 4 weeks I get the chance to tell my story to a jury of my peers. This has been a long and difficult journey and is one that I may never have persued had it not been for the years of counselling, and the love and support from my partner, it is also not over by a long stretch of that I am very much aware. I know that no matter what the outcome of the court case I have to start to walk the long and winding path towards healing.
I am currently studying at university and am coming to the end of my second year of a degree in Social Work, so this has been a tough couple of years, with the intense study and the ongoing wait to see if the Crown would find enough evidence to get to court. I would like to say that the police, and support officers have been fantastic. No question has been left un-asked or un-answered! I hope that some day I can help someone else like I have been helped, hence the reason for taking the Degree course. How could I truly advise a young person who has been abused if I didn't do all that I could to deal with my own issues? The tutors say that everyone has a reason for wanting to be a Social Worker usually because of what they have been through in their own lives!
I am extremely nervous about the upcoming trial and going through all of the hurt and anguish again, but hopefully I can start to repair the damage that he has caused throughout my adult life. I still struggle to sleep for fear of the bad dreams, I still struggle with hearing those seasonal pop songs on the radio at Christmas, I still struggle with certain scenes of intimacy on the TV, I still struggle with the weight I gained trying to make myself as unattractive as possible as a teenager and I know that I will struggle to heal but I will never give up. I like many of you have read and been inspired by Stacey's story and I would like to say that because of her and others like her I will fight to be a strong survivor with my own story to tell.
About Stacey Lannert
Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.