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this post will trigger you be warned
well i'm half dead from emotional exhaustion. i left the rooming
house. i am supposed to apartment sit for a friend for a month.
it's all been really effing hard. too hard. this is a lonely dark life
not worth living. i hate living in this state. my plan is, if i decide
to keep living, which is a 50/50 proposition, is to move all my
crap out of storage - just chuck the s--- OUT - and go down
to see my friend in VA for awhile. just keep moving, don't let
anyone pin me down. i can't find any place to live that isn't
horrifyingly lonely or noise triggering. there is so much rage
in here. i could light up the sky with it. harness it for nuclear
just f------- tired, just f------ sick of everything, just f-------
over it already, just in need of a bed, a place to cook
spaghetti, and a life that isn't a constant horror show b/c
one man who was supposed to be my father thought it
was cute to stick his hand down my pants. i had a dream
the other night he kicked my door down and i grabbed
his penis and squeezed it trying to hurt him - and instead
he got off on it.
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE MY FATHER.
When he dies, I'm going to dance on the bastard's grave, and
at his funeral, the whole world will hear the story. You didn't
get away with, Stephen. YOU DID NOT GET AWAY WITH IT.
and nobody has any right to judge me for my feelings. so
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About Stacey Lannert
Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.