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Letter to The Devil

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 21:04 — PixieLee

You said you would be Fkin me for the rest of my life even if I got married you Fkin dirty filthy evil bstd you ugly vile stinking bstrd you have ruined my life you ruined my life that night and I laid there knowing my life would never be the same again and the whole world changed and I would never be happy and that's what you don't even know the depth of my torture and what you have done to me and my world and my kids and all my relationships and my perspective and myOutlook and my self worth and my image and my beliefs and its you who turned me into the bch I can be and you forget I exist and never consider one drop of it all and yet I have cried and bled a river I have screamed down to hell itself and crawled up and down there twenty thousand times at least and I have hated so strong I could break you in two with that power and I looked so desperately for something to wash me but when I turn on the tap you're there and I wait for God to take revenge on you because he says revenge is mine and he knows I can't take no more coals upon my head but you...for every thought I have of you, of me because of you and every feeling I have because of you and every cell inside me polluted by you - a coal on your head .

Comments

Wed, 04/18/2012 - 21:21 — Tab Johnston

The letter to the devil is one powerful letter. I feel I could use the exact same letter to my devil. I feel completely the same about my abuser. The best thing for us I feel is to stand up tall and show them we have the power to control our lives and that they no longer have that power over us. I know it takes years to feel that way and I feel I am getting close to being able to say that tho there are days that come and I feel I have no control on my life what so ever.

It has been over 10 years since it happend for the last time to me and he controlled me for 8 years before that and so in total thats 18 years I am only 26 so thats well more than half my life. I am getting ready to take full control but know there will be days where I will go down again but I just have to keep the tools close by to stand up and step back into the light and stay out of the dark.

This is one of the best places to get it out and people will understand, It is truely amazing I am still kinda new and the support is amazing. I hope you feel lighter and brighter after writting your letter. Keep moving forward

Thu, 04/19/2012 - 22:22 — PixieLee

Tab you are strong you are stronger than I was and stronger than I an and mostly to other people who don't know what happened to me they would say I'm successful in some ways and doing well so I think you too will be fine. I just have months/weeks/days/hours/moments when I'm not and this place like you say is great to be honest about it when we feel it.
I admire your strength after the horror you've experienced. I'm 100% your not always strong and yet when you are you do a great job. You have so much life ahead of you. X God bless

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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.