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Stacey Lannert's blog

The Bill Cosby's of the World

Bill Cosby was once my image of the perfect father. Watching him on the Cosby Show helped me create an ideal father figure in my mind. His patience with his children, the love he showed his wife, and the humor behind it all created a perfect person in my young mind. Bill Cosby was one of my idols, yet like all people placed on a pedestal he fell.

Making A Choice

I often wonder why some people are able to choose to move forward and others seem stuck in a place of victimization. It almost sounds cruel to simplify the healing process as "making a choice" yet that is exactly must occur in order to move forward. Telling yourself that you are worth more than what happened to you is difficult, believing it is even rougher. However, it is a mantra that must be repeated day after day and at time, minute after minute.

Beyond the comfort zone

I have a magnet on my fridge that reads, "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone". I bought it to remind myself to push through the moments when my brain says, "You can't do this!" Unfortunately, my brain screams those words at me more often than I would like to admit. If I listened to my brain, I would be shut off in my tiny cottage house with no friends and never go out.

It is difficult to step beyond the edge of comfort, to explore new worlds, new paths. And even though my brain screams at me to stop - my soul commands me to move forwards, to try and fly.

Remembering Maya Angelou

When I was trying to find my voice, there were not a lot of other voices being raised to guide me. Then, I read a book by Maya Angelou, "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings". Her honesty and strength forced me to be the best me I could be.

Dr. Maya Angelou is my hero and role model. She is true inspiration. She is grace. She is beauty.

She will not be forgotten.


Today is the First Day....

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. I heard that quote somewhere and it has stayed with me. I believe the quote is flawed, because no matter who you are or where you go the past will always be a part of you. However, if we meet our pasts with our heads up and shoulders squared then it cannot defeat us. Every step, every second, every person has helped shape us into who we are. It is up to us to choose what we keep and what we reject.

Random Acts of Kindness

Yesterday I took the LSAT test again. Passed the first time but I wanted a higher score because scholarships are based on both GPA and LSAT scores. The LSAT is a brutal test. If you ever get bored search out a few questions, they will keep you occupied and humble you. The first time I took the test I did not study for it, I did the second go round, so hopefully I did better. I have been accepted to a law school but still have a few others I am considering, and have to decide where I want to live.

Breaking Through

People always seem amazed by the fact that I am happy. I have had people ask me, "With all you have gone through, how can you feel happiness?" The first time someone asked me this I was speechless and the only thing that came to mind was, "I live in the present, not the past. My present is a beautiful place." Then the person responded, "Oh, so you've gotten over the abuse then?" Well - No! I feel we never "get over" the abuse we have lived through in the past, but we make a conscious choice to move forward - to break through the past of the pain into the light of today.

Being a Grown Up

I am about to begin my senior year of college, and often joke about what I want to be when I grow up. I am currently a psychology major with a minor in political science. I just recently took the LSAT exam and passed (barely). It is time for me to stop joking and seriously decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.

Facing Fears

Anyone who knows my background can probably guess that I have fears surrounding police officers. I break out in a cold sweat, and hold my breath. Therapy helped me realize that just because a person wears a uniform does not mean that they are going to try and put me in jail.

Suprising & Useful app from the DOD Safe Helpline (Not Spam)

This week I discovered a new app for my phone, thanks to an email from RAINN. It is an app produced by the DOD - the Department of Defense and it is for sexual assault survivors. I must admit that I was leery of the app but decided to check it out. After I downloaded Safe Helpline and navigated around it for an hour, I was amazed.


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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.

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