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Life Marches On

Mon, 02/06/2012 - 22:56 — Stacey Lannert

I am very comfortable in my present life. I love where I live, I like my neighbors, I know what my routine is, I am content. I am about to change all that. In a few months I will be moving to a new town where I do not know anyone. I will be attending a new school and I suppose I will need to look for a job. I spent today doing a home inspection for the first time and I must admit I feel a bit freaked out. There is part of me that simply wants to rent and have nothing to do with home ownership, but the prices for rent in a college town are astronomical. Do I take a chance and buy or just go the easy route and rent?

I want to buy. I want to have my name on something that says, "This is mine. I own it."

I want to rent. I want to be able to say, "This is yours, please fix it."

I am at odds with myself. Take the leap and own or play it safe and rent? I have a few days to make my decision, I suppose we will all find out by the end of the week - I'll keep you posted.

Comments

Tue, 02/07/2012 - 04:17 — Sue

Hi Stacey, you should be SO proud of yourself!!!!! You have SO much strength and such a drive to just go and get what you want,I admire that ,!!!!! You just seem like a determined person who when she wants something,she just goes for it. You will figure out what to do with the living situation,follow your gut, and good luck with everything,you'll be fine,take care.Sue

Tue, 02/07/2012 - 13:22 — Tina

Hi Stacey ... when I read your blog I thought of a quote I heard by Martin Luther King Jr ... "Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase."  I certainly relate to indecision and worrying about making a "wrong decision".  But, I have learned that even if I don't make the best decision, I can always make another one. I am excited for you that you have this opportunity to start another chapter in your life!  You deserve it and I send many positive thoughts your way. 

Wed, 02/08/2012 - 09:19 — elaine

i have just finished reading your book please help me because  i dont know what to do my mind is a mess i wish i coud be like you x

Thu, 02/09/2012 - 18:17 — jill

Hi Stacey...I am moving soon too and am trying to make the same decision. I am a single mom and get no financial help from the kids dad...they don't see him. I have rented since the divorce but am really wanting something of my own. Problem is I don't have much cash but could probably buy a nice mobile home in a nice park my cousin owns. Here is where I get stuck...my ex called me and the kids "trash" they last time we heard from him 4 years ago. You've heard the term "trailer trash" right? That's my hang-up with buying myself a trailer...I wouldn't want him to know because he would find a sick joy in kmowing that's all I could afford. I KNOW I am not trash...I work at a university as a web project manager and have come a long way. I too am a survivor of incest...nothing like what you went through, but life changing none the less. Why do I still let these abusive men still haunt me to the point that I am afraid to do something in a positive direction because I still hear the word trash. Don't you think it would be better to live in a brand new mobile home that I own than rent a run down house that the landlord doesn't really care about? So many dumb issues to work through! At any rate, I will pray for your decision. You are an inspiration. Thank you for sharing your story in your book. Stay strong!

Thu, 02/09/2012 - 22:17 — Stacey Lannert

Girl, you be who you want to be and never mind what someone else thinks, especially an ex. I have learned that no matter what you do someone will still find fault with you if they choose to. If you won the lottery and bought a mansion then he would find fault with the exterior choice. You have to do the best you can and only answer to yourself and your Higher Power. Those are the only opinions that count.

That being said, if you would like to look into the possibility of home ownership (not discounting a mobile home - it IS a home), please check out the possibility of an FHA loan. They require less down payment (3.5%) instead of the traditional 5% (www.fha.gov). They have a great program for wrapping the cost of rehab into the loan, it is called a 203(k). HUD also has made grants available to many first time home buyers through the housing development of your state. Missouri has one, they offer a loan for cash assistance for the down payment or offer lower rates for your loan. HUD also has great programs for rural areas, USDA. I bought a foreclosed home through Freddie Mac, they have the homesteps program which offers a warranty on the house for 2 years. Do not pay for a list of foreclosures, with a bit of internet research the data is right there at your fingertips. Always make certain your url (what you type after www) always ends in .gov so you know you are on a government page. If you need any help email me. FHA offers loans to everyone, not just to first time home buyers.

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 08:01 — theotherside

hi, i just want to say i big thanks to stacey for everything she has done i how u made more people aware of what goes on with abuse i read yr book and learnt about this site and it really helped i thought i was dealin well until i wrote down here on this site and it made me alot stronger thankyou x

Sat, 02/11/2012 - 08:01 — theotherside

hi, i just want to say i big thanks to stacey for everything she has done i how u made more people aware of what goes on with abuse i read yr book and learnt about this site and it really helped i thought i was dealin well until i wrote down here on this site and it made me alot stronger thankyou x

Wed, 02/15/2012 - 19:08 — fearlesschanges

Do what I do with all important decision... Flip a coin! It never fails.

Sat, 02/25/2012 - 21:13 — Tina

Did you buy a home Stacey?  I have been checking to see if you have posted anything about it!  Let us know ... it is so exciting.  I guess you will be going to a new school soon too?  Your life has really taken off!  Good for you! 

I also want to let you know that I believe you have definitely kept your promise to the Governor who released you from Prison.  You are helping alot of women with this website.  You have helped me ALOT by starting this website ... more than you can imagine.  I have started to really "get" alot of things that I just wasn't "getting" before.  A heartfelt thankyou to you Stacey.

Sat, 02/25/2012 - 22:24 — Sue

I totally agree with Tina,. I remember when I first started on this website,I said I was new here and wasn't sure how it worked exactly,I remember Stacey saying she hoped I would get out of this site what I as looking for. Well,I had no idea what I as looking for when I started to reach out here,but ,as my life has been very difficult to deal with,I gotta say,this site has been the best thing for me. It has given me strength,the level of support is overwhelming,the fact that anyone at all,accually gets it , accually understands how I feel,makes such a difference in my road to healing,so,too Stacey , THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!!!!!

Sun, 03/04/2012 - 01:10 — Tina

Yes, Stacey ... I can relate to making decisions that will bring about big changes in life.  I don't do "change" well ... but it is an inevitable part of life, I have learned.  Just when I think I am settled and all is well in my world ... something  happens to "change" it or I have to make a decision that will.  Right now I am contemplating moving out of my apartment.  The rent is cheap and it is ok .. but it is a bachelor suite and was built so long ago that there is absolutely NO insulation.  The guy upstairs gets up at 6:00 am EVERY morning and bangs around .. go out for an hr walk and then comes back and does what he says is Yoga ... it sounds like he is doing backflips up there.  I know I am going on about him but he is very OCD ... I can tell what time of day it is by what the noises are upstairs.  He does exactly the same thing , at the same time, every day.  So, after 4 yrs of living under this guy and not complaining because I instinctively know that won't help and would probably make it much worse ... I have had enough.  He showed up at my door twice to complain about how I was making too much noise.  Yea right.  So, I am looking for a new and hopefully quieter place to live. 

I hope something comes up for me.  I would love to have a dog and it seems landlords have something against pets.     So ... there .... I have said it ...put it out there in the Universe ... I am looking for a new, quiet, pet friendly place to live.  I trust that I can make that happen.  I have made alot of other things happen ... like surviving my past ... so hopefully this will be smooth.  Wish me luck. 

Tue, 03/27/2012 - 01:50 — clarkhudson

That's the spirit Stacey! Your a studnet and yet your we'restong to face your life ahead. And yes, I was once like you and renting is such a heavy burden in my shoulder. And I can see my life with you. Some wonder if it is cheaper to buy a house, rather than rent, over the long term. According to the yearly survey by Trulia, it presently is except if one lives in San Francisco or Honolulu. With an installment loan, you pay your rent payment for the month. this was I've done before. i hope it helps.

Wed, 03/28/2012 - 19:24 — Sosaidthedragon

There's no way for me to explain how moved I was when I heard your story, Stacey. I saw it on 20/20 on ID and by the end of the show so many things were clearer to me. I've always wanted to go into psychology and help people in prisons, but your story really set the idea in stone. I'm so happy for you, and I can't tell you how proud I am of everything you've done for all of the people who needed a site like this and someone. Keep doing what you're doing and I wish you luck in everything you do.

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About Stacey Lannert

Stacey is free. In January 2009, Missouri Governor Matt Blunt commuted her sentence of life without parole. She is currently speaking out about sexual abuse and sharing her message of love, healing and forgiveness.